Rabbits Caught in the Headlights

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To be selected to play for your country must be the highest possible honour and ultimate accolade for any sportsman. What could possibly compare to representing your nation, knowing that you are carrying the hopes and aspirations of millions of your loyal countrymen, some of whom will have spent small fortunes travelling half way around the world to watch you perform?

If you were one of that select band you would surely give everything you’d got, summon up every last ounce of energy and fight for every ball or point to ensure that victory was yours. Even when faced by an aggressive, ruthless, determined and highly skilled opponent you wouldn’t flinch. No, you would relish the challenge, take a deep breath, grit your teeth and enter the fray with renewed vigour, refusing to take a backwards step until the contest was won, wouldn’t you?

Of course you would unless, that is, you are a member of the England cricket team in which case, when faced by such an opponent you would quail, quiver, collapse and capitulate, resembling more a rabbit caught in the headlights than a supremely fit athlete prepared to slug it out toe to toe and man to man. You would just roll over and have your tummy tickled, grateful that at least you still have a fat pay cheque, a fancy car and a nice house to return to when the whole pitiful shambles is brought to a close, as it was last weekend in Sydney. 

If Not Now

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Yesterday I noticed a boy aged about 5 or 6 wearing a T shirt emblazoned with the logo “If not now, when?” I’m sure many of us are familiar with that question, valid and pertinent as it can often be in this oh-too-short life. It is a question that virtually all of us will have to answer at least once and if answered correctly can change and enrich our lives.

It got me thinking about a silver haired gentleman I encountered outside the splendid Church of St George in Madaba, Jordan a few years back. He was a cheerful fellow, stood proudly next to his majestic but tired looking BMW motorcycle and we struck up a conversation. He turned out to be a 69 year old Australian who, a few years back, on the day after he retired, was told by his wife of 30 years that she no longer loved him and wanted a new life for herself.

Fair enough, he thought, and two weeks later was on his way on a solo motor cycle journey around the world. When I met him, he’d already ridden through China, India, Russia and the Middle East. He was now contemplating the next stage of his journey through Africa, thence to Europe, the Americas and home. I think about him every now and again and the lesson that he demonstrates to all of us. I hope that his courage met with its true reward.

If opportunity presents itself, seize it with both hands. The little boy was right, if not now, when?

Lucky People

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Sometimes I don’t think we realise how lucky we are living in the west and in particular the UK. We have free health care, the protection afforded by a democratic system of government, justice provided by an ancient and time proven legal system and free education for our children.

If we fall on hard times the state will pay us welfare benefits and provide us with housing, yet still some complain that they have a hard time of it.

A reality check is clearly required for some and the easiest method is the simple act of turning on the news to learn about yet another country racked by civil war and strife, its towns and villages laid to waste, their occupants slaughtered and orphaned children starving to death whilst the survivors can anticipate nothing better than a life of constant struggle and suffering.

That should do it. Try it tonight whist enjoying your third meal of the day.

Six Wishes for the New Year

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  1. That the commemorations marking the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the First World War – a war that cost the lives of nearly 1 million British and Empire soldiers, sailors and airmen and spelt the beginning of the end of the British Empire – are balanced, truthful and free of political correctness and spin. Though Germany is now our friend and ally it must never be forgotten that the war was a direct result of that country’s aggression and the desire of its leader, Kaiser Wilhelm II, to conquer and rule the whole of Europe and who invaded neutral and peaceful Belgium to begin that process.
  2. That Scotland votes to remain a part of the United Kingdom preserving what little is left of our former great Empire.
  3. That English team sport performs somewhat better than it did in 2013 – and that the English cricket team in particular recovers from its recent humiliation in Australia!
  4. That the corrupt, incompetent and anti-democratic European Union does what it has been threatening to do for years and finally implodes.
  5. That we start to treat our beautiful and wonderful Mother Earth with the love, respect and care that she deserves.
  6. That somehow we all manage to rub along together in peace and harmony. A vain hope, I know, but one that most of us will wish for above all else.

A Happy New Year to us all!

 

 

Saying Nothing

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I was listening to the innate ramblings of a DJ the other day, chattering like a monkey on his local radio show. No surprise there of course, innate rambling and DJs go together like cheese and onion or fish and chips.

Anyway, it got me thinking about our use of language and how sometimes people seem to talk a lot without actually saying anything. Politicians for example; I’m sure you’ll agree that they rank pretty high on the list of purveyors of verbal diarrhoea!

My thoughts took me back to my early days as a trainee lawyer when my boss, a fine advocate attempting to teach me the basics of court work, said “Always remember, if you’ve got nowt to say, say nowt”!

A lesson well worth remembering and not just by lawyers!

Peace and Goodwill

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Christmas is with us once more, a time of peace and goodwill for all mankind. Here in the West much of that goodwill is artificially induced as friends cement their relationships with yet another bottle of booze. But there’s nothing wrong with that, the end can often justify the means.

In other parts of the world, however, goodwill, along with its bedfellow peace, is in short supply. In the last week alone we have learned that Sudan is in grave danger of slipping into a brutal and savage civil war and Japan is arming itself in retaliation against territorial threats made by its near-neighbour China. Add to this the murderous conflict in Syria and the troubles of Zimbabwe, Kurdistan, Palestine and Iraq, to name but a few, it is clear that the world is still a troubled place.

Whether you are Christian, Muslim, Jew or atheist is of no consequence. Surely every reasonable and right thinking person wishes for peace and goodwill. The fact that it is Christmas merely makes that wish more poignant.

It’s in Their Nature

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Sir David Attenborough recently warned cat owners that, along with the frozen ground of winter, their pets represent the biggest danger to garden birds struggling to find food and survive the cold.  He went on to say that the solution, insofar as cats are concerned, is for their owners to fit them with bell collars so that birds will literally be able to fly for their lives as danger approaches.

In my experience, many cat owners need some convincing and indeed take the attitude that, as their fat spoiled moggies slaughter and rip apart yet another half-starved robin or blue tit, they can’t do anything about it. They shrug their shoulders and offer the explanation that “It’s only nature” and that their cats are only doing what comes naturally to them.

I’m sure they are right, it certainly is in a cat’s nature to stalk, capture, torture, torment and wipe out every creature smaller than they are. However, it can clearly be prevented by human intervention and the fitting of bell collars seems to me to be an eminently sensible idea.

If all else fails perhaps those of us concerned by the plight of our birds could purchase and install in our gardens a larger, more threatening bird to even things up a bit. Something like, oh I don’t know, how about a condor or a golden eagle? A bird whose primal urge is to hunt, kill and devour small mammals – mammals the size of your average cat.

As the distraught owners watch their beloved little moggies being carried away no doubt they will be comforted by the reply “Never mind, it’s only nature”!

Political Pygmies Revisited

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One of the enduring images of last week was the headline photograph of Prime Minister David Cameron, President Obama and the Danish Prime Minister (whose name escapes me) grinning inanely as the Danish PM took a picture (commonly referred to as a “selfie”) of the three of them on her mobile phone.

By itself there’s nothing wrong with that, just a bit of harmless fun in an often over-serious world – except that this was at a memorial service to the late Nelson Mandela whose funeral, at that time, had yet to take place.

For some reason, I cast my mind back to bygone images of world leaders pictured together and I settled on the famous photograph of the three allied leaders, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Joseph Stalin and Winston Churchill taken at the Yalta summit in the latter days of the Second World War.

I wondered, had the technology been present at that time, whether any of those men would have taken a selfie at their meeting. I think we know the answer.

In this blog I have, on more than one occasion, referred to modern leaders as “political pygmies” in comparison to their forbears. After the events of last week, there can no longer be any doubt.

More Technological Nonsense

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Funny isn’t it? Virtually every time I dial any telephone number beginning with 0800 or 0845 be it an insurance, utility or whatever company I seem to get the same response no matter what time of day I make the call.

“We are experiencing a much higher volume of calls than usual at this time ……..“. I am then informed that if I want to speak to somebody I will either have to wait and wait (whilst being entertained by some crappy 70s pop song by Boney M that sounds even worse 40 years later!) or alternatively I can ring back and repeat the process. Maybe I should try ringing out of normal working hours but if I do that the chances are – “Sorry, these offices are closed between the hours of 9am and 5pm. Please call back then”! Infuriating isn’t it?

Recently I sent an email enquiry to British Gas and received the response  –  “Due to unforeseen demand we are unable to respond at this time………….” But why?

Why is the demand unforeseen or the volume unusually high? In a country of 60 million people what do they expect? Such nonsense, why don’t the idiots just employ more staff to man the phones and computers. It can’t be that difficult to work out can it?

The people who run these organisations don’t have to have the gift of foresight or the ability to anticipate the unusual. All they require is bit of common sense and therein, I think, lies the problem.

 

Police Informers

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Derbyshire police announced last week that they will pay a reward of £1000 to anybody reporting another member of the public who they suspect of driving under the influence of alcohol, payable presumably only following conviction. The announcement went on to suggest that people should even report their own friends. Now, not for one moment would I seek to condone drink driving but isn’t this taking matters too far?

Why stop there, why not pay people to report drivers for speeding, for using their mobile telephones when driving, for passing through a red light or any other transgression? Now you may think that any responsible citizen should and maybe would report law-breakers as a matter of course, particularly if other people’s lives are put at risk, and you may well be right.

So why would a responsible citizen have to be bribed to do something which he or she would feel duty-bound to do as a matter of course? The problem with this kind of initiative is that the police are in effect encouraging the public to act as paid informers or snitches against their fellow citizens. Maybe I’m out of touch here but I wonder is this really the kind of society – or country –  we wish to live in?