There’s been a fair bit of publicity recently about London’s first “naked restaurant”, a place called Binyadi, where diners, waited on by naked servers, strip off to eat their food. It’s certainly generated a lot of interest with 40,000 people said to be on the waiting list, so the owners are clearly on to something.

Is this an indication of our further descent into voyeuristic and perverted decadence or just a bit of fun? The owners seem to take it pretty seriously though with talk of opening your mind and liberating yourself. Mind you, I think I’d take it seriously too if I had that many customers.

What of the practicalities however? How do you stop things from falling into your food? What do you do if you’ve been handling hot chillies? What if you spill some hot soup? All these things would bother me, although evidently the food is raw and uncooked and you eat with your fingers so there’s no problem with the soup after all.

On another level, how are you going to concentrate on nibbling your olives if you take a fancy to the waiter/waitress/one of the other diners? How embarrassing could that be? Is that a courgette under your napkin or are just pleased to see me? Perhaps they could have an area annexed to the dining room called the “Rutting Room” where people could slink off at opportune moments.

I, for one, can’t really see what all the fuss is about, doesn’t everybody eat naked in the privacy of their own home anyway? Oh. Well, this could be a good business opportunity for some. Round our way, they would probably have to name the place “Porkers”, due more to the potential clientele than the cuisine! Oh blimey, I think I’ve just lost my appetite.