Yesterday, the BBC online news service contained two reports that demonstrate just how far we English have declined.

First of all was the report of an emergency 999 telephone call made by a man claiming he had been chased by a malevolent badger – which for the information of any town dwellers reading this blog, is a cute, shy creature about the size of a small to medium dog that feeds predominantly on worms and slugs!

Secondly, I read a report of another emergency call made by someone claiming a seagull had tried to rip a sandwich from out of his hand!

To think we once ruled the greatest empire the world had ever seen.

That’s as maybe but presumably our brave soldiers never had to contend with a regiment of highly trained badgers!