Australians are renowned for their relaxed attitude and lack of reverence and the enquiry section of a national tourism website seems to sum this up perfectly. Here is a sample of questions and answers taken from the website –

Q. Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
A. Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the rail-road tracks?
A. Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q. Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
A. Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q. Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.
A. Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q. I have a question about a famous Australian animal, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees.
A. It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

The next three questions refer to a district of Sydney called King’s Cross, politely known as the city’s red light district –

Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
A. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which doesn’t… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule?
A. Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is … oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q. I was in Australia in 1969 and I want to contact a girl I dated whilst staying in King’s Cross. Can you help?
A. Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

You really couldn’t make this up! Priceless!