One of the joys of travel is having a stab at foreign languages even if it’s just ordering a beer or wishing somebody good morning. Putting the boot on the other foot I’ve often thought that the English language with its many inconsistencies and anomalies, must be extremely difficult for foreigners to master; let’s face it, it’s not exactly easy for us at times!
Many countries, such as Thailand, from where I’m writing this, have a different alphabet (the Thai alphabet has 44 letters as opposed to our 26) so that can hardly make it any easier. In spite of this, and in spite of the fact that we British are probably the worst foreign language speakers in the world (due of course to the fact that most of the world speaks or understands English) we still laugh, rather uncharitably it has to be said, when foreigners make a hash of our language.
I was walking through a city plaza in Chiang Rai the other night when my attention was grabbed by a menu outside a cafe. When I’d managed to control my helpless laughter I copied it out word for word –
The moustache is tiny squid roasts – sold out
The demon moustache squid roasts – 20 baht (40p)
The banana squid/egg squid roasts – 30-50 baht
The ark shell scalds/burns – sold out
The shrimp burns – 60-100 baht
The meatball fries. Every the wood – 50 baht
If I’d had a translator with me perhaps I might have tried something; certainly the demon moustache squid roasts sounded interesting! However, I gave it a miss and carried on walking until I saw another place advertising “North Eastern Labrador”! I was told that it was, in fact, a pork dish but bearing in mind that they do eat dog in some parts of the country I wasn’t going to take a chance!
Travel certainly broadens the mind alright.
Common Sense 