A really offensive weapon!

I recently flew out of Manchester on an international flight, though this story I’m sure could apply to virtually any of our airports. I was travelling light and took a small bag (just about within the limit) and a brand new tennis racket in its pvc case. I checked in without problem and then joined the long queue for Security. As somebody who normally flies in excess of 50 times a year the queues don’t bother me at all because I want every passenger and his/her bag to be thoroughly screened if it means we all fly safely.

When I reached the front of the queue I took off my belt as requested and placed it along with my bag in a plastic tray which then went through the x-ray machine. At the other end I waited for my bag and was about to pick it up when the Security officer came over to me and said he had some bad news. I asked him what the problem was and he said I couldn’t take my tennis racket on the plane since it was classified as an offensive weapon (obviously he’d never seen me play tennis!). At first I thought he was joking but he clearly wasn’t and he said that I would have to check it in to the main hold which would mean going all the way back to the check-in desk and then renegotiating Security.

There is never any point in losing your temper or having a go at Government officials because they are simply doing their job and so I politely asked how this could be and he said it was a recent directive from the Department of Transport (or whatever it’s called these days). I told him I couldn’t believe it and the sympathetic look on his face told me that he shared a similar view. I shook my head in disbelief and off I went contemplating the awful incident the officer’s vigilance had just averted – Captain to passengers “There’s no cause for alarm ladies and gentleman but the man in seat 7A has got a tennis racket….Omigod, he’s taking it out of the case…”

I checked in the offending item, rejoined the queue and, would you believe it, this time I was asked to take my shoes off even though no such request had been made when I first went through some 20 minutes earlier. You see, that’s the other thing, there is no consistency. On a number of occasions I’ve flown down to London Heathrow to catch a flight to the USA and have been surprised at how, for example, I have been asked to remove my shoes even though it wasn’t deemed necessary in Manchester. Give them the benefit of the doubt though, maybe it’s just a random request. Most bizarre of all though is to land in the USA and then go through a full screening again even when I’m actually leaving the airport. What on Earth is that all about?!

Of course we live in dangerous times and we need the full protection of the State to keep us safe. It’s a vital job and I really am grateful but can we please show some consistency and a little common sense? As for the nameless bureaucrat who deemed a tennis racket an offensive weapon, well wouldn’t it be nice if he could explain his decision and at the same time explain how I was allowed to proceed with two alloy bicycle handle bar extensions in my bag which really would be a nasty weapon in the wrong hands. Also, why was my travelling companion allowed to carry a safety razor in his hand luggage? Whilst were on the subject, how come passengers are allowed wine in glass bottles and those in Club Class and beyond are actually allowed to eat with metal knives and forks? Clearly, somebody needs to get a grip of this.